Cultivating safety as a foundation for health, growth and change

We need to feel safe in order to change and grow

Our nervous system is hard-wired to sense and respond to anything that may threaten our survival. It’s a finely tuned system, and when danger is real, it serves us well.

But in today’s world, we’re constantly bombarded with signals of threat. Whether it’s global news updates, the endless scroll of social media, or marketing ploys telling us we’re broken and need fixing, our nervous system gets triggered again and again.

Even if the danger isn’t immediate, the nervous system often cannot tell the difference. When the body perceives threat, the amygdala switches on and higher brain functions like problem-solving and planning switch off. The result? A background hum of stress that keeps us in survival mode demonstrated as fight, flight, freeze, or fawn behaviours as well as hypervigilance or Neuroception, which is the unconscious scanning for safety or danger. 

Survival mode is expensive. It drains emotional, mental, and physical energy, often leaving us depleted and run down, which can have an impact downstream on our health .

The types of safety we need

Physiological Safety

Our nervous system needs cues of safety for growth, repair, digestion, and immune function. Without them, the body prioritises short-term survival over long-term health. Parasympathetic activation (the “rest and digest” state) supports digestion, lowers inflammation, and strengthens immunity.

Emotional Safety

Trust, belonging, and the feeling of being truly seen and accepted for who we are. Attachment research shows that secure relationships free up energy for exploration, risk taking, creativity, and growth. Emotional safety makes space for vulnerability and connection.

Psychological Safety

The confidence that we can express ourselves, take risks, and make mistakes without fear of ridicule or punishment. Psychological safety is vital for learning, creativity, and authentic living - it is needed for innovation and effective problem solving. As an educator and practitioner, I understand the significance of creating a safe space and positive relationship for students/clients to learn and grow. 

Social Safety

Healthy relationships grounded in respect, boundaries, and connection. Studies show that oxytocin (the “bonding hormone” released during social support) buffers stress and helps the nervous system relax. 

Self-Safety

Cultivating inner trust, self-compassion, and practices that reassure the body and mind that it’s okay to soften and rest. Research shows that self-compassion lowers self-criticism and reduces the stress response, creating inner safety that supports resilience.

Safety is not a luxury or a “nice-to-have.” It is a basic human need and a foundation for both physical and mental health and it is required for change and growth.

Why it matters

When we feel safe, the body reallocates resources in powerful ways:

• Digestion improves

• Energy stabilises

• The immune system strengthens

• Inflammation decreases

• Mental health is supported

  
  

Overall, safety is required for our body to maintain homeostasis - a stable equilibrium that is needed for our health. 

Feeling safe also increases our tolerance to stress. Neuroscientist Daniel Siegel describes the window of tolerance, the regulated zone where we can learn, adapt, and make meaningful changes. Without safety, we can easily fall outside that window into fight, flight, or shutdown, which makes it difficult to learn and apply new behaviours that support our wellbeing and growth.

Feeling safe and being uncomfortable can coexist

Fun fact about me - for my honours thesis I worked in a neuroscience lab at Queen's University with Hans Dringenberg. My research was investigating how acute stress (vs. chronic stress) impacted learning and development. In my research (with animals - rats), we found that small acute doses of stress/amygdala activation actually increased learning potential (measured by something called 'long term potentiation'. In other words, not all stress is bad - in fact - stress is needed for growth and adaptation.

Change and growth require us to step outside of our comfort zone, embracing tension and challenge, in order to adapt. Feeling safe does not mean things are easy all the time. It means our nervous system understands that the challenge we’re facing is not an existential threat.

Psychologists have long noted this balance - the Yerkes-Dodson curve shows that we perform and grow best under moderate challenge, but only if we feel secure enough to meet it. Safety creates the conditions for us to take risks, try new behaviours, and recover when things don’t go as planned. 

Practices to cultivate safety 

Cultivating safety is an important part of my work as a practitioner/coach. It involves creating a non-judgemental, safe, compassionate space where clients feel seen, understood and supported. 

We can intentionally nurture our own safety through mindful practices such as:

Intentional Breathing

Breathing with longer exhales and from the diaphragm directly stimulates the vagus nerve, shifting the body into a parasympathetic (rest-and-digest) state. Slow, deep breathing reduces heart rate, lowers cortisol, and improves emotional regulation.

Somatic Practices (Yoga, Gentle Stretching)

Mindful movement helps release stored tension and signals to the body that it is safe to inhabit space fully. Research shows yoga can lower cortisol and improve interoceptive awareness; our ability to sense and respond to internal cues.

Walking in Nature

Time in natural environments has been shown to lower stress hormones, reduce blood pressure, and restore mental clarity. Nature provides abundant cues of safety such as greenery, rhythmic sounds, and  fresh air, that calm the nervous system and invite presence.

Long, Slow Hugs with a Loved One

Sustained, nurturing touch stimulates oxytocin, lowers blood pressure, and reduces stress. Physical closeness with someone we trust sends powerful safety signals to both body and brain.

Setting Boundaries Around Media Consumption

Constant exposure to alarming or sensationalised information keeps the nervous system on high alert. By limiting this input, you reduce unnecessary threat cues, allowing the body to rest and conserve energy for real-life presence. Our brains have not evolved to take on as much information as we do in a day - the flood of information is overwhelming and keeps our nervous system overstimulated.

Mindfulness and Grounding Practices

Paying attention to the present moment interrupts cycles of fear and rumination. Studies show mindfulness reduces activity in the amygdala, the brain’s fear centre, and increases resilience to stress.

Slowing Down

Rushing mimics a threat state: shallow breathing, tense muscles, hypervigilance. Choosing to eat slowly, walk at an unhurried pace, or pause before speaking signals to the body that there is no emergency. Slowness itself becomes a cue of safety.

Shaping Your Environment

Your surroundings constantly send signals to your nervous system. A cluttered, noisy, or chaotic space can heighten stress, while a calming environment with order, natural light, comforting textures, or soothing sounds can act as a powerful cue of safety. Even small adjustments, like adding plants, soft lighting, or a quiet corner, help your body register: this is a safe place to rest and restore OR this is a safe space to take risks and learn.

Compassionate self talk

The simple act of noticing when you are stressed and gently reminding yourself that whilst things are hard and stressful in the moment - they are not necessarily dangerous. Saying this in your mind engages a different part of your brain, which can help tone down the limbic system noise and help your nervous system avoid going into survival mode. Simply noticing and naming the feelings and sensations you are having as well as acknowledging that - you are safe - can help. 

Seeking professional help

Sometimes safety practices like breathing, mindfulness, or setting boundaries are enough to bring the nervous system back into balance but sometimes they are not - especially if these responses have been developed from trauma. In these cases, support from a qualified, registered professional can be essential. Trauma research (van der Kolk, 2014) shows that healing often requires safe, guided experiences to help the nervous system learn new patterns. A clinical psychologist or other licensed mental health professional can provide evidence-based approaches such as trauma-focused CBT, EMDR, or somatic therapies, that gently restore a sense of safety and control. Seeking professional can be a brave step toward safety and change.

The Bigger Picture

Cultivating safety doesn’t mean ignoring the challenges of the world or avoiding all stress. It means creating enough stability inside and around us to meet those challenges and stressors with presence, resilience, and care. It means honouring our own needs to protect and support our health so that we can show up for what matters and be of service to others. 

Safety protects more than just our sense of calm, it protects our health and vitality. And perhaps most importantly, it creates the very conditions we need to grow and change.