Nourished vs Restriction Mindset: How it shapes our health

“You can be a masterpiece and a work in progress at the same time.” ~ Sophia Bush

Many of us carry some history with a ‘diet mentality’ - something I see often in my clinical practice.

I often see people trying to dance between caring for their holistic health and avoiding a slide back into control, guilt, or deprivation. This dance is often born from a backlash against diet culture and for good reason.

For a long time, we were taught that health equalled leanness, that strict discipline was a virtue, and that food or exercise carried moral weight. Within this framework, self-worth becomes tied to appearance and behaviour: how we look, how much we achieve, how “good” we are being. While these messages still echo through our culture, there’s now a growing movement pushing back; one that embraces intuitive eating, body respect, self-acceptance, and a more compassionate, sustainable approach to wellbeing. This shift is both necessary and powerful.

But in this process, I’ve been observing something else -  something that’s leaving many people feeling stuck: health itself has become tangled in the backlash. In our effort to reject diet culture, we may overcorrect - viewing any proactive effort to support our health as suspect, or as a sign of restriction.

Supporting your health with nutrient-dense meals or regular movement doesn’t mean you’re “on a diet.” Choosing protein and vegetables over a scone for lunch isn’t punishment; it’s nourishment. Yet I see many people finding themselves second-guessing these choices, worried about being perceived as obsessive or unkind to themselves. If someone declines a second slice of cake or opts for an early night, they might hear: “Are you on a diet?” or “Don’t be so good!” or “Come on, be kind to yourself and give yourself a break.”

So how do we navigate this tension - caring for our bodies without slipping into rigidity or guilt?

It is possible to hold both truths at once: to cultivate a deep sense of self-worth and acceptance while also wanting to protect, restore, and strengthen our holistic health.

How do we do this? It really comes down to mindset.

Restriction Mindset: Control, Fear, and Disconnection

Diet culture cultivates a restrictive mindset often which grows from fear;  fear of losing control, gaining weight, or not being “good enough.” It’s a way of relating to health through rules and judgment rather than care and curiosity. It can show up in many forms:

• Binary thinking: “good” vs. “bad” foods or habits

• Guilt or shame when we “slip up”

• Using exercise to punish or ‘earn’ food, rest, or self-worth

• Avoiding social situations because of food anxiety

• A sense that health is a test you can fail

  
  

Physiologically, this mindset can backfire. Chronic stress from guilt or perfectionism raises cortisol, which disrupts digestion, sleep, and immune function. Psychologically, it can disconnect us from our bodies’ signals such as  hunger, fullness, fatigue, pleasure. It can also feed obsessive tendencies and cognitive bias, causing us to overinflate the risks of certain foods or habits. Ultimately, this mindset erodes both physical and mental wellbeing.

Nourishment Mindset: Compassion, Curiosity, Presence, and Support

A nourishment mindset, on the other hand, is about care over control. It asks: What would best support me right now? It grows with compassion, curiosity, mindfulness and support.

It’s grounded in understanding what holistic health actually means and having a broader set of metrics to gauge it. Instead of focusing narrowly on weight or appearance for example, we might consider energy, mood, sleep, digestion, inflammation, pain, immune function, positive relationships, and sense of purpose through values based action. When we’re aware of these domains, we can make choices that truly nourish our needs. This awareness also brings fluidity: our needs and capacities change, so our behaviour can too. We may be maintaining some domains with regular actions and sometimes we may need to uplift another domain with a more concentrated set of actions. 

In the clinic, we assess the domains of holistic health - we look at where strengths are and how these are being maintained and we also look at areas we need to uplift and nurture. We may for example, have a treatment strategy to support gut health and this may require a more concentrated effort on nutrition for a duration of time. As the gut heals and becomes more resilient, an individual may find they can tolerate more foods in moderation. 

A personal example: I recently had a chest cold. My immune system was a little overtaxed during recovery. Once I got over the infection, I felt better but was still in a period of convalescence; my body needed to regain the energy it had spent healing. My nutrition, exercise, and rest naturally reflected that. When I went out with my husband and colleagues this past weekend, I enjoyed the social connection but chose not to have the glass of wine I’d usually have, or the dessert. Not because of a rigid rule but because those choices supported my recovery at that moment.

This mindset shift takes us from punishment to partnership; from seeing our bodies as problems to be fixed, to seeing them as living systems that need care, respect, and responsiveness. It embraces continuums of choice and cultivates psychological flexibility, allowing us to adapt as our needs evolve.

When you’re coming from a nourishment mindset, you might:

• Choose meals that help you feel steady, resilient, energised, and well

• Move in ways that build strength and joy rather than burn calories

• Rest without guilt, recognising recovery as part of health

• Allow flexibility in your habits as your needs change

• See consistency as self-respect, not self-denial

• Make choices that align with your values and current needs, not just impulses

• Focus on process over outcomes - as health is a journey NOT a destination

• Be curious of how you feel after certain behaviours - and use the feedback to learn and support yourself going forward.

  
  

Perspective

The goal isn’t to become perfectly “nourished” all the time. Life will always include moments of stress, overindulgence, or disconnection and that’s okay. What matters most is the tone of your inner dialogue: Am I approaching this from care or from control?

Sometimes, what looks like restriction on the outside (e.g. skipping dessert, adding a salad with your burger, saying no to another drink, or going to bed early) might actually be an act of nourishment. Sometimes nourishment IS having the slice of cake with mates because it brings pleasure, joy and connection. And sometimes, what looks like freedom (e.g.  saying yes to everything) can come from avoidance.

Ultimately, context and intention matter far more than the behaviour itself. Also - as our grandmothers often said - everything in moderation.

It also means releasing the moral value we attach to our habits. You are not a better or more worthy person because you eat a certain way, exercise consistently, or meditate daily. Your worth is inherent - constant and unchanging - no matter what choices you make.

Cultivating self-acceptance isn’t separate from your health journey; it is a necessary part of it. When we begin from a place of respect and compassion for ourselves, nourishment naturally follows.

Reframing 

Next time you make a health choice, try asking:

• Am I moving toward what supports me, or away from what I fear?

• Is this an act of punishment or of care?

• What would nourishment look like for me today;  physically, mentally, emotionally?

• How might this challenge support my growth?

• Am I doing this to honour my worth or achieve my worth?

• What are my holistic needs today?

  
  

When we shift from restriction to nourishment, health stops being a performance and becomes a relationship - one rooted in respect, adaptability, and trust.

Because the ultimate goal isn’t to control your body.  It is to honour and care for it.

If this resonates with you - i'd love to know:)

At WellKind, I help people reconnect with their health through compassion, curiosity, and flexibility so they can restore their vitality and build resilience in a way that moves with life, not against it.